Waste Paper?

In the last few months, I've been thinking more about my future than ever before. I got back from Europe, fresh from a world of adventure and culture with my heart set on moving to London. I wanted to do nothing more than pack up my life and venture into the big city and become a big girl, and live a life full of plays in the West End, shopping in Oxford St and being immersed in a busy world of independence.

Technically; I've done what I needed to do in Perth now. I've finished my degree, and bar my graduation ceremony in March(and my slowly dwindling down car loan) , I've got nothing left to hold me here. The longer I'm surrounded by people who are seemingly progressing into adult lives, the more I feel frustrated that we don't have to follow that stringent path of life.

Our culture is obsessed with the focus of paper. Paper dominates our lives: university degrees, marriage certificates, money, passports, citizenship certificates, tenancy agreements, deeds, bills. Why are we so focused on earning pieces of paper to define our success and happiness?


I was chatting to a friend the other day who has recently gotten married. Married in the sense that they love each other and it felt "right". I appreciate when you enter a formal commitment in that sense; but I'm tired of the endless conversation amongst people of feigning domestic bliss and the epitomy of their life's fulfillment resulting in wearing a white dress.

Live a little.

Perhaps I'm no where close to building a house, or having a baby, or even having a rock to show I'll (apparently) be eternally loved; but I've done pretty fuckin' good for a 20 year old. I've lived in 3 countries (thanks to my parents), traveled around 20 more, gotten a degree, made it without becoming a teenage mother, left when others wouldn't have, beared more pain than most would even comprehend, and still come out smiling.

I want my life to be fulfilled by laughs I share with friends, places I visit, moments that are sacred, whether that be staring at the Cote D'Azur (which I've done :D), or catching someone's eyes, or feeling bloody proud of yourself for something small and insignificant to someone else. I don't want to depend on paper to symbolise that apparently, my life is going well. If a home and a conventional, socially "norm" life is all that you've ever wanted, then love it. But your life should always be normal according to you.

All you've got to ask yourself is, do you wake up everyday with a smile on your face, or at least a speckle of hope that you can control your life and your happiness?

And if I've got to settle for paper... Give me plane tickets, love letters and books :)

The Optimistic Scrooge.

For my family, Christmas has been a unusual tradition for the last seven years. We've traded snow and huge roast dinners for blazing hot Christmas days with a barbeque feast. So, I suppose in some sense the further alterations to this year's Christmas shouldn't make as much of a difference, but this Christmas will feel more surreal than ever before.

It's going to be just me and mum. Not that I don't love my mum, but Christmas is about family and my dad's going to be working 11 hours away in the harshness of the Australian outback. My brother's moved out; and whilst he's popping around in the morning for present swapping, our family will literally be divided for this year's festivities. We'll spend the afternoon with our fellow family friends from England which will be the comfort for our sense of home this Christmas.

I love Christmas. I truly do. I love to buy people gifts, and to see their reactions. I love the optimism that spreads around due to the upcoming holiday season, and joining together to see everyone you care for.

While we've all got our pet peeves over Christmas (I won't even go near a shopping mall this week) and children's obession with their upcoming presents for months beforehand; I think adults share a similar sense of nervousness when considering the scope of their lives and happiness.

Christmas often brings a sense of postponement that other holidays can't deliver. People put off things around Christmas; they don't want to be responsible for causing pain during the holiday season. By all accounts we'll resist having that serious talk with someone or pushed back an inevitable breakup due to the upcoming day of celebration. But why delay the inevitable? And how is this one day of year going to erase the bad and give you the perfect present you've desired?

I think in some senses, Christmas evokes this false sense of hope and hesitation. People try to string together and pull through in the knowledge that it's Christmas time, and at Christmas time you shouldn't be responsible for causing pain. Christmas day has big boots to fill; and I'm not talking about Santa's. Perhaps we should all focus on our situations now, not plan how to perfect an inperfect situation just for Christmas.

While I hope this day that evokes family, giving and happiness brings people back together on a long term basis or helps to mend your woe, surely it's cruel to pretend for a day, if that's your only intentions.

For many of us, Christmas is not a relgiious celebration but a capitalistic Hallmark tradition borrowing symbols and rituals from a variety of religions and cultures (the Dutch's Sinta Klauss and pagan tree traditions; for example). What Christmas represents to the majority is a day of presents and piss-ups.

By all means, I wish for us all to enjoy this year's Christmas, and realise how lucky we are to have healthy and happy lives. Gift giving is one of my favourite parts of Christmas, and we should all value the way the day brings us more together. However, we should apply this attitude to each day, and count our happiness on a daily basis, not on an annual review; when a tree, an old man with a beard and stack of presents have to remind us to.

Bah, humbug.

You've Got To Laugh

Or you’d cry?

Not necessarily.

“Men are bastards. After about ten minutes I wanted to cut off my own penis with a kitchen knife.” – Will, About a Boy.

There’s not much new to that, if you ask any woman (or in some cases, man), who’ll rapidly offer a story depicting woe and some wanker. Post break up and ready to drown my sorrows in true Bridget-esque style (though I wasn’t too bad), of course I had to run into someone from my past. He agreed: “men are bastards. That’s why I’m dating a girl.”

So after two to three months, my stint as a couple was practically over before it began. It ended amicably enough – we’re both planning to move to entirely different parts of the world and our lives and plans simply weren’t compatible. So, I’m now faced with the dilemmas of post break up behaviour. Friends? People who speak? Or someone that you have to avoid if you run into them in the shops, or at a pub?

Through chatting to my best friend and seeing more and more unbreakable couples break, I’m coming to the conclusion that perhaps it’s something to do with age, and relationship inexperience. My first serious boyfriend was three years of teenage angst and using me as the solution and cure to his depression. The next one was a train wreck in itself; but I did love him, and learnt a lot along the way. After feeling that gut wrenching heartbreak, we’re all at least once due for, I travelled, dated (some shockers too), and grew up.

So onto the next one I was more confident of what I wanted from him; or a boyfriend in general, but stuck on my single and fabulous! (exclamation point!) dreams of the future. He was lovely and we never fought but I feel back on track and more eager to jump right into my future than ever before.

We’ve long since realised the idealistic tale of meeting and being with your one and only is too good to be true, yet so many people aspire to it with each new partner, as though the past can be deleted and has no swaying on the person you are, and why somebody loves you.

Perhaps I’m sadistic and my optimistic trite is fading away, or perhaps when I’m loved up it’ll grow again; but age is often a problem too. We’re barely familiar with ourselves at this age, let alone how we are as a partner. Perhaps each boyfriend and breakup sets the standard for who we are, and what we need in the future.

But for some optimism; you can’t value love without pain, and you should feel the welt of each heartbreak with the new found joys of your future.

Spoken like a true masochist.

A Stroke Of Bad Luck...

You may say I've ran into some bad luck. At the start of this year, I remember predicting it to be one of the best year's of my life thus far. I was to turn 20, backpack Europe graduate university. While I've done these things, I didn't predict to be ill for over 6 months, lose friendships that have been monumental to my last few years, be bullied out of my workplace and be involved in 3 car accidents within a week. This semester has been the most grueling one I've ever faced. The pressure of being so close to the end of my degree has been tantalising, and overloading units and overworking has been at times far too much to bear. While I adapted to my transfer quite well following an abrupt departure of my previous shop, the stress the company throws upon all of its colleagues will never depart with a change of location.

I have a lot to be thankful for from the last three years of my employment. I've met some amazing people that will be lifelong friends, and I've also met others that I've held so close to me that I never thought I'd let them go. However, as life lessons goes, people let you down. People disappoint you. And let me tell you (all) I'm extremely disappointed in the sadistic, selfish, childish and uncompromising people you've become.

With the bad luck in life generally coming in three's lets hope my luck's back up. I scored a new job, ironically, with a car insurance company that I'm starting next week. I've also (bar 3 assignments that will be done at the end of the week) finished my last semester of my degree. The whole gang celebrated with a brilliant party last week. As we drank, I spoke to my friends mum about what everyone may become. Let our ideals and dreams remain our biggest motivation to get there, and not let our degrees remain dusty on a shelf.

And I've met someone who makes me happy. And most importantly, wants to be with me as much I want to with him. I'm looking forward to an amazing summer, and to see what grand plans and dreams will become..

Thursday Morning Blues...

False Status

What's on your mind?
Heartbreak, breakups,
Breakdowns,
Down that drink,
I don't want to think
About you
Anymore -
These thoughts
Spluttered on a webpage
Left in lyrics,
Quick quips,
Never let it
Reveal what is actually true,
They can't understand,
How I miss you.


Too Late

Grab his keys
And say goodbye -
Watch him go,
She won't cry
Anymore
No change, too late,
Does he care?
And here I stand,
Wedged between
Different eras of perception,
Defeated, already,
Before taking sides,
Who will fight
For this love?

A Guide to Facebook - Your New Best Friend.

Feeling Lonely?

Join Facebook!

Half a billion opportunities to find friends!

Listen to what Facebook workers and users have to say about how their life fulfilment has quadrupled since their profile has been activated!

Feeling Left Out?

You’re living within the 21st century, the digital era, the time when technology has become a fundamental part of social communication and growth. You don’t own a computer. You refuse to purchase a computer, or to use one at the public library. You detest the idea of school’s introducing them to students from a young age.
What is wrong with you?!

Your life is mundane. No, seriously, it is.

You’re always feeling lonely. The people you know, if you could really call them friends, hardly get in contact with you. It’s your fault really. You don’t have a mobile phone. You miss out on texting, calling, chain emails that gets sent around the world. They are forgotten after they are read, but they mattered. For a second. Your phone drums against the table, the message tone kisses your ears. You are loved. Someone is reaching for you.

But not you, of course. You don’t have a phone, or a Facebook, or any logical manner of retaining friendships and lovers. You’re excluding yourself from love.
You can better yourself. You can enhance your life to the maximum potential, and live like your neighbours and colleagues. You can be as happy as them. Let yourself.

The Solution

It’s easy, really. First of all, gain access to the internet and get yourself acquainted with the World Wide Web. Think of all the possibilities. They are infinite, endless. The information era will sweep you into a search engine speed hurricane of the future. A bombardment of information. What could be better? There will be so much for you to speak about, engage within, dream about. You will be part of it all; connected. You will finally find yourself within a network, put your mark upon the world and remain forever. You’ll settle for eternity in your piece of cyberspace. Graveyards, work, art and other human mementos won’t record your existence. They are merely memories and landmarks that will dissolve over time. This is your only chance to be stored into the hard-drive of the universe. Don’t miss your chance.

Following are some instructions for how to put your life in order. We are here to help you get onto the social network bandwagon, and bring yourself into the new millennium of cultural change. Otherwise, you’ll be as useless as a temporary internet file to potential friends and loved ones.

The Wonderful World of Facebook

I work for the wonderful and life changing social networking site of Facebook. And here’s how I, along with the rest of the wonderful staff and creator of Facebook can help you.

It’s all thanks to you, Mark Zuckerberg. His creation of Facebook to bring Harvard Students into a web network has grown into the biggest social networking side on the planet. He has quite literally enabled people from every continent to coincide together. We can monitor what our friends in every timezone are doing at this very minute. Our lives have never before been so fulfilling.
Facebook is first and foremost, your best friend. Maybe you could see it as your family; it will definitely be always there for you. It is there only for you and the benefit of bringing you closer to people around the world. Facebook wants to include you in a rapidly growing international network of users that is growing at this very second. We are offering you boundless opportunities to mingle and
The way it works is based on a simple idea that friends want to be able to keep in touch, have online chats, view each other’s photos and be invited to cyber-events.

Customising Your Facebook Profile (Photo Albums and Information)

Now, your profile. This is your money maker. You want to attract friends, so don’t begin with scary photos. Something friendly for a profile pic. Win them over with your smile. Keep your status updates witty. Update often. Let your new found friends get a sense of your real personality. Your information page is extremely useful in sharing your interests, activities, political preferences, sexual preferences and religious beliefs. List your favourite bands and films. What do you like to do in your spare time? Write it down. Where do you work? Link it up. Do you study? What do you study? Add it under your educational achievements. Already your friends have got a genuine sense of the person you are.

Add some photos, or even better, albums to narrate the exciting life you’ve led. If you haven’t been on holiday recently, or been doing much, no worries! Snap a few shots of yourself in the bathroom! Get your friends to add a few comments, and you’ll be on the road to a successful Facebook page.

Friend Request


Moving onto friend requests. Request! It’s so simple. We are deleting the awkwardness of first meetings, diminishing the direness of the first impression. No longer are there stunted silences or blanks. If you want to write on someone’s wall, you can. If you’d rather retain a silent kind of friendship, don’t! They’ll appear on your Newsfeed, you’ll learn of their current occurrences, but you’ve had to make no effort to find this out personally. Think of how much time you will save! Check out your new friends profile. Do you have similar interests? Hobbies? Sign up to the same fan pages? Maybe it’s right to throw this friend a comment! You’ve made a match! And Facebook has helped.

This is a first impression we can support.

Friend Suggestions

Friend suggestions! This program has captivated Facebook users around the world. No longer do you have to physically search for potential friends, rack your brains for their names or go through the piles of profiles of people with the same name. Facebook has looked at yours and an individual’s mutual friends, and placed a suggestion to befriend each other upon your homepage. How thoughtful! Now, if either of you send a friend request, your network of people is only growing further and further, which means, more matches for even more friends will fast be appearing on your homepage!

Facebook Advertisments

Advertisements. Facebook has looked at your profile, the pages you have “liked”, and the groups you have joined and figured out what you’ll be interested in buying. How generous and kind of them. They’ve done your job for you. No more fearful hours in supermarkets with a burning hole in your pocket searching for the perfect purchase. Instead, at the corner of your eye, it is done. It is there. A range of products to suit your needs and desires. What do you desire? Has Facebook got it right? I’ll bet on it.

How lovely of them.


Places

Your new application: places! With the click of a button, nifty GPS technology will locate your very geographical spot and post it right onto your Facebook wall and newsfeed. Now your friends will always know where you are, for those times when they want to swing by and quite literally say “hi!”

Games and Applications

Sure, you could read a book, go to the cinema, watch a play or kick about a football on a field. But why would you?! When you can do all of this from the comfort of your own study. Facebook has created and supported games and applications to tailor your very desires. Fancy yourself as a hardcore gangsta? Jump onto Mafia Wars. Want to do shear some sheep? Connect to Farmville. Want to tantalise yourself with fun trivia, such as, what’s your favourite sex position? Do a quiz! These applications and games are accurate and designed for your pleasures. Your web ring of friends is growing, your success in the gaming world is celebrated on your wall. Congratulations!


Sign Up Now

What are you waiting for?! It’s time for you to make a change and connect yourself to the real world! Sign up to Facebook immediately. Send out your requests for friends. Add your interests, list your jobs and studies, play some games! Join some fan pages and go crazy with some fun quizzes. In no time you’ll have set yourself up on the everlasting lifespan of cyberspace, and your life has never before seemed more fulfilling.

You can thank us later.

Expiry Date Girl & Work Feng Shui - Let The Games Begin.

Two weeks ago I probably wouldn’t believe you that I have a boyfriend, a new job, and have become a member of the Australian University Games. It’s been a whirlwind of a week, but exciting all the same.

I’ve transferred to a different store after nearly three years at my old one. A work “feng shui”, if you like. Without delving into deep and dirty details that would just leave me as bad as gossipers, I decided I was suited to a workplace that was without politics, high school cliques and mind games. I’m much happier for it. So far, everyone at the new store has been friendly and I’m able to do my job without becoming subject to discussion that is unnecessary.

I’ve scored a job as a Curtin Media Representative for the Australian University Games, held in Perth this year. Next week, myself, and my friends Sophie and Jen will be carting all over Perth stadiums to watch, report, interview athletes, update websites and be involved in AUG. We also get to attend the social events that are on every night, which has dress-up themes such as Retro Sports, Gender Bender and Go for Gold. I may not be the sportiest of people, let’s rephrase that; I definitely have a limited knowledge of the 28 sports my uni is competing in, but it should be a fantastic week that will give me a web of experience. Considering I now have a boyfriend that has an interest in sports it may be useful to understand the rules of footy if I’m ever forced to watch a match.

So, it’s goodbye to being a single gal and so far, it seems to be a mix of being strange and lovely, but I’m getting used to it. I’ve still got next year and my grand plans on my mind, but the potential topic of being an expiry date girl have been put on hold for now; I just want to have a fabulous summer and enjoy my graduation, 21st birthday and what I hope to be amazing times with family and friends.

This next month is going to be one of the hardest, in terms of time that I’ve ever had to face, purely because I’m nearing the end of my final uni semester and have got a literal overload of assignments due, extra jobs for AUG and a full time roster. The pay is much needed, and I’ll be smiling once payday hits, but I know week 14 will be a huge victory for my sleeping habits. Plus family are arriving from the UK, summer is slowly creeping up (and the layers are cheekily coming off), and Christmas is on its way. Bring. It. On.

I Like Geeks

I like geeks.
Nerds, not freaks,
Boys who make me weak.
Skinny and pasty,
Thumbs hasty,
From playing COD
On the PS3.
Graphic novels, comic books,
Cheeky smiles, dorky looks,
Chests that are bare and smooth,
Too scared to make a move,
But once they do,
And then take you,
Between the sheets,
An animal's unleashed!
Sweetie pies,
Too nice guys,
Lines of wit,
So damn fit,
Vans and chucks,
Reading books,
Batman tees,
Kiss me please,
Don't be shy,
And I'll tell you my,
Perfect night,
That will excite,
Your wildest dreams
Trading favourite movie scenes,
I'll be the Wonderwoman to your geek,
Things won't ever be bleak,
With me, you see,
For I'll dig geeks for eternity.
I don't want biceps,
Or abs or triceps,
I want you - pure sex,
A cut above the rest,
So boys, come impress,
I'll settle for nothing less,
Than butterflies and jokes,
Geeky, sexy blokes,
A bit of danger, lots of fun,
Should do while I'm young,
Make me swoon, leave me weak,
'Cause gentleman, I like geeks.

Some of My Poems...

Reflective Control


Last night's makeup,
Ruffled curls
And lips that pause for thought,
Soft and intrigued.
And looking.
Compelled to reveal,
Eager to share
And to be
Only me.
When I peer at my reflection,
It's foreignly familiar,
There's a strength that has grown,
Though naivety lingers
Like a shadow in the dark.
I'll hum to myself,
Those songs of past comfort,
And remain poised,
Fierce to the dangers of the night,
And the world,
That questions my place.
Forgive me
For not knowing all that I can,
And I'll accommodate
Eagerly
Until i know what is home,
What is right.
I want to feel, and to think,
To be trapped in a company
That offers serenity,
Simplicity.
But I'm getting better at this,
I enjoy it
Though selfishly
I'm fueled by expression
And I crave to explore,
What I write about.
I'm searching for the story
That will make me what I am,
And what I idealise
It makes me as anxious
And as excited as you do,
It's beyond my control.
We don't make these decisions.
So why should we try?
Give me words and tales
Of crafted meaning,
Let me find what I need to be free
Of these thoughts
That race through my head
Like an ocean tide,
Drawing back from climax
And edging closer and closer
To another source of control.
Feel my frustration,
Find a solution to my torment
And be free.
I'll be doubtful and upset
With what I see.
But I'll appreciate
What's looking back at me.

Haiku

Feet rest in cold sand,
speckled clouds smile down on me,
where did our love go?


Collision

Time withers,
Time grows,
And as I wait,
I hear it.
I feel it,
I know
In my heart,
I have to do it.
Give up the battle
And stop fighting.
You're rolling in like a tide,
I feel the pull,
I'm the shores
Waiting eagerly for collision.
I've grown
Through this time.
I've loved, and I've lost,
But where am I now?

My Closest Thing to a Near Death...

My trip to Laverton, Western Australia, hardly started on a bright note. My brother urgently needed a lift home to Perth for a funeral, and my dad (a country policeman) was a further 26 hour drive into the depths of the desert. After deliberating, my family accepted I should go.

Early the next morning, myself and my brother's friend Tyson had gotten ready for the eleven hour journey. "Bring water!" Dad had cautioned. I had rushed to the supermarket in a solemn panic and stocked my car with four 5 litre bottles of water.

"Dad, how do I get to Laverton exactly?"
"Right. Get on the Great Eastern Highway in Perth, and drive for six hours until you reach Kalgoorlie. Then when you get to Kalgoorlie, turn left. Then drive for four hours. Then you'll be in Laverton."
"That's it?"

I was going bush. To the outback - the deadliest and vastest roads of Australia lay ahead of me - and I was naive 19 year old outback-virgin with a 17 year old boy for moral support.

The journey was tedious. My car stereo broke and it took us six hours to figure out how to fix. The landscape of rural WA became blander and redder the further we drove into the country, the roads wilder and empty. Being British, my idea of countryside until then was sweeping lanes in Yorkshire and pretty paddocks in Cornwall.

"You have to beat the dusk!" My dad had warned that morning before we left. Tyson had procrastinated about coming at first, but eventually decided to come, making us a little late on our departure.

On our final leg of the drive, from Leonora to Laverton, Tyson had offered to drive through roo territory. He'd had experience with his family being country bumpkins and my idea of countryside danger was a goat on the road.

The sun was setting quick and we had 125km to go after ten hours of driving. Tyson , had me on "roo watch". I peered into the bushes for a glimpse of any peeking eyes or poking ears and could see a few staring back at me. Tyson had described to me how one handles a roo jumping infront of your car situation: "lock your elbows, slam on the breaks and do not swerve - if you swerve you will roll into a bush and possibly die."

With around 50km to go our fears were confirmed. While we hunted for roos in front of us one jumped from the back of my tiny car and plummetted onto my bonnet. I'd screamed as the bonnet had bounced onto the windscreen and the kangaroo had helted over the car. The car skidded to a halt, steam gushing out of the engine.

We jumped out to inspect the damage and it started to piss it down with rain. In the desert. The radiator and fan were caved in, and we had to hack off my crumpled bonnet with a Stanley knife Tyson had for some (almost prophetic) reason brought along.

The next hour was one of the worst of my life. As my battered car chugged along at barely 40km per hour, with her naked engine exposed in the rain, her engine was severely overheating. We still faced the chance of another attack on my precious Zip. My mobile jumped in and out of coverage to be met with frantic calls from my parents telling me I shouldn't have gone. "Let's talk about this later!" I'd shouted.

I can't describe the happiness I felt when we saw the sign: Laverton - 4km.

"Come on!" I'd cooed to my whimpering car. "Almost there!"

We made it. The police paddywaggon awaited us to drop us off at dad's house as I didn't know my way around the town. My car was then parked besides the town's sole (and therefore, gold digger) mechanic, but I didn't want to think about how we'd get back to Perth, just yet. I wanted a bath. I wanted a hug. I wanted my bed.

Welcome to Laverton.

"Let's Take A Leap of Faith."

Perhaps my subconscious is letting Inception cause an effect (as I’ve finally seen the film), but lately I’m having trouble distinguishing between my dreams and my reality. I can’t seem to grasp what has been said to me, what I’ve dreamt, or what I’ve hoped for. Perhaps I’ll just chose to believe the sweetest options, and keep quiet of the rest.

Yesterday marked the 7 year anniversary of my family’s departure from England, to begin our new life in Australia. Looking back, I left England as a child and have grown up while I’ve been in Australia, but I think my adult life will lead me astray. I recently made a pact with a “friend” that we’ll hold each other to our grand ideals and plans of big adventures. For a time, there was nothing worse than disappointing him. For once I desire that consequence, if it will give me guts.

I’ve mentioned I want to make the most of my time left in Australia, but it doesn’t mean that I know how or who I will spend my time with. My problem is that I over-analyse, so I’m going to take a seat back and let life take its course for once. I feel like I’m standing in the aeroplane waiting to jump out. The giddiness of my future seems uncontrollable; the fear is there not from authenticity but from standards. Perhaps we fear because we expect to be scared. Perhaps we’re scared because we let fear tangle within our minds.

In saying that, I am going skydiving on Sunday. And I just know that the plummet, the whoosh, the feeling we’re forever striving to feel, will grab my fear and say: “fuck you.”

She Said He Said (A Work in Progress)

Girl, You'll Be A Woman Soon.

I love afternoons when days are sunny, I'm not committed to work or uni, Stephen Fry and hair dye, and Itunes surprises you with some of Pulp Fiction's best featured songs.

I mentioned last post that I have these big and bold plans to pack up my life and start afresh in the big city. In saying, I still have up to a year left until I hope to leave so I plan to make it fantastic.

In less than 3 months I will have completed my Bachelor of Professional Writing and Publishing. First grandchild to get a degree, or even go to university for that matter. With the exceptions of 8am starts, frantic hours scanning the campus for a park (and dreading the sinister parking inspector) and late nights (even weekend ones!) pouring over a computer in the Abacus labs, I have thoroughly enjoyed my time at Curtin. So much in fact, that perhaps I shall return one day. They say those that can't, teach - and considering the limited and competitive nature of the careers I'm approaching I may have to surrender to the position of university tutor. Which wouldn't be all bad, I love the uni life, and perhaps I can be one of those tutors we all adore that join their students at the Tav.

So, the next few months await my Aunty and cousin visiting, with a trip to Margaret River (as I've not even been), a festival filled summer and a 21st that will hopefully conclude in a girl's trip overseas. We've all got big plans and I'm looking forward to a chance to have an amazing trip together first.

I'll grab what I can from WA, 'cause you know, chances are I will miss it. :)

Dear Perth...

Dear Perth,

I've spent six years with you now, but lately you've left me flirting with the notion of another city. I spent my winter enjoying night's in cities within the depths of Europe, and I feel you're like the grouchy boyfriend who wants to be in bed by 9pm who I've returned to.

Perhaps it's your size. Perhaps it's the clothes shops (the whole three of them) that stack the same-same colour schemes and recycle cuts like the seamstress only mastered the classic A line at sewing school. Your girls fill the city donned in dresses of similar shades and settings, determined to set it apart from the girl across the room in an identical frock. The mission fails time and time again, and as the onlooker, I make note to scan asos.com and Topshop before purchasing in Perth.

Perhaps it's your hours. Forgive me, but I feel I must inform you that people below the national retirement age reside here. Therefore, we may be compelled to go out for a impulsive coffee or meal in the evening. But your kitchen's close at 7 or 8pm, and we're left with McDonald's Angus range for something A la Carte. It's simply not good enough Perth.

The freeway, or any road, is a daily dread when I have to head up to uni. It amazes me still that your driver's don't understand the roles of the right and left lanes respectively. I also feel a lesson on the importance of the indicator should be introduced in some form of a "life in Perth" manual. The constant weave of traffic may provide entertainment or the opportunity to throw in the delectable remarks we love to dish ("wanker!"), but it does disclaim your high death tolls.

We are isolated. Incredibly isolated, but it hasn't make us special. It simply shows no one else wants to live here. We're simply that far away from anything that it seems such a tedious task to move yourself away again.

The weather is what I'll give you. In summer, our beaches sizzle and soar with the sun's majestic rays, beneath which thousands of us throw ourselves into an ocean of the clearest of waters. But your winter, quite frankly, is merely an appetiser to a main course I've been waiting six years for. You get cold darling, near freezing in fact, but you never deliver us snow. I feel if you're going to tease us with temperature, you should at least make the torture of aching bones worth an afternoon of making snowmen, and drinking hot chocolate onlooking a winter wonderland scene.

You're pretty, Perth. The city from the banks of King's Park dazzles magically and the skyline impressed when the sun sets upon it. The coast is like an exotic paradise to the standard Brit used to pebble beaches. The streets are clean and widespread, a Ramsay St-esque living model. But I need more than looks. You're lacking culture, you're lacking wit.

But the people. The beautiful friends I have met and loved since I've lived here. You will always be what has made Perth my home for the last six years, and what will continue to be a big part of what I count as my home.


I should tell you who's stolen away my heart. It's London, I'm afraid. When I aim, I aim big. And I've set my heart on the biggest, and best of them all. The Mr Big of the world. And baby, I've got it bad.

So I'm pledging that within a year (hopefully), I will have sorted out my life and gotten myself a set up in London Town. Uni is hopefully on the cards, along with a quaint place to sleep and a job preferably filled with people oozing Cockney accents and delicious adventures to be had.

So Perth, I'm saying that soon, I'm going to leave you. You may be glad of the warning, but this is a promise to myself that I'll have the guts to pack up my life.

It's not you, it's me.

You've been good to be darling, but it's time to move on.

Yours, (for another year),

Abby.