It's been an exciting few days. First and foremost, I've been accepted to study my post graduate diploma of education, so I can be a secondary teacher. I suppose deep down, I've always wanted to be a teacher, and it will be good to have this qualification for my future travels. Teachers can also earn reasonably good money, so it's a win win. I want to teach English, and perhaps drama, media and history, and maybe even dance.
I'm so looking forward to going back to uni. Since I graduated I've been working full time and while the money is the motivator to work, I find myself endlessly drained by it all. It's not to do with the hours of the day, it's more so that I'm spending so much of my time in something I don't have a passion for. I can't wait to be back at uni and working towards something I know I want to do. I couldn't deal with working in a job I didn't want for the rest of my life.
Now I just have to tell my boss; and since I've been there I've been given responsibility of the "supervisor", "manager" if you like of our department, so he won't want me to drop to part time. But I can't let guilt prevent me from doing what I want to do.
I'm typing this from my new Macbook Pro - a no doubt perk of my job and it's staff discounts. I have wanted a new laptop for so long and now I'm going back to uni it was time to upgrade.
I started pole dancing again yesterday. I used to do it before I went to Europe and it's so good for fitness. I've woken up covered in bruises but love it. It was fantastic to start up a dance class again and put on some heels. I'm going to resume burlesque classes again.
Things are looking up. :)
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
"Throw Some Glitter On And Go Dancing." - Stee Andrews.
I adore my friends. Truly, I do. I also adore the fact that I can go months without speaking/seeing friends, not even know them extremely well, or not have to be constantly updated on their recent events to remain friends. I've caught up with a few friends over my long weekend, and it's been lovely to spend time with people I haven't in so long.
I suppose, to indulge in some arrogance, I have a lot of friends. I am the kind of person who will get along with a lot of people and I try hard to maintain friendships. Whether it's meeting for coffee once in a while or even just sending a text I think it's important to let people know you're still thinking of them. So many friendships seem to dissolve because people simply don't take a moment every so often to remind each other they still care. I've seen how easily we get carried away with our lives and ourselves as we get older; relationships, work, money all seem to pollute the simplicity of having good friendships.
What I adore about my friends is that they're all from different groups of people, whether I've met them at school, uni, work, or in passing. It's inspiring when I catch up with people who love to write as I do and have similar opinions on things, but just as enjoyable when I chat over a guilty pleasure like a TV show with others. I firmly believe we can't get everything in life from one person, and those who are real friends understand that. My best friend and I have an amazing friendship. We talk daily in some form, although she lives two hours away and we don't feel jealous if the other is seeing another friend.
I've had friends slip away, and as I'm growing up and have lost a few people that were once monumental parts of my late teens I'm really not phased like I used to be. People who are meant to be will stick around, and for my part I'll be myself, and that should be all that's needed for the right people for me.
If you can laugh, cry, drink, dance, lay around doing nothing and every inbetween with someone, I think that makes a good friendship. I think catch ups with friends whether they be occasional or frequent are what keeps us from drowning in problems. We all have rough periods, sometimes ones that will test our ability to go on, and it's the strength your friends remind you that you possess that carries you through. My friends have all managed to pull out my smile when I've needed to smile the most, made me laugh in the hardest of times. I love you all.
Friendships don't always have to be daily routines of contact, but remembering to reserve a moment of kindness when you see someone you know about, and giving each other something to smile about.
I suppose, to indulge in some arrogance, I have a lot of friends. I am the kind of person who will get along with a lot of people and I try hard to maintain friendships. Whether it's meeting for coffee once in a while or even just sending a text I think it's important to let people know you're still thinking of them. So many friendships seem to dissolve because people simply don't take a moment every so often to remind each other they still care. I've seen how easily we get carried away with our lives and ourselves as we get older; relationships, work, money all seem to pollute the simplicity of having good friendships.
What I adore about my friends is that they're all from different groups of people, whether I've met them at school, uni, work, or in passing. It's inspiring when I catch up with people who love to write as I do and have similar opinions on things, but just as enjoyable when I chat over a guilty pleasure like a TV show with others. I firmly believe we can't get everything in life from one person, and those who are real friends understand that. My best friend and I have an amazing friendship. We talk daily in some form, although she lives two hours away and we don't feel jealous if the other is seeing another friend.
I've had friends slip away, and as I'm growing up and have lost a few people that were once monumental parts of my late teens I'm really not phased like I used to be. People who are meant to be will stick around, and for my part I'll be myself, and that should be all that's needed for the right people for me.
If you can laugh, cry, drink, dance, lay around doing nothing and every inbetween with someone, I think that makes a good friendship. I think catch ups with friends whether they be occasional or frequent are what keeps us from drowning in problems. We all have rough periods, sometimes ones that will test our ability to go on, and it's the strength your friends remind you that you possess that carries you through. My friends have all managed to pull out my smile when I've needed to smile the most, made me laugh in the hardest of times. I love you all.
Friendships don't always have to be daily routines of contact, but remembering to reserve a moment of kindness when you see someone you know about, and giving each other something to smile about.
Friday, June 3, 2011
Travel Bug.
"The sea that calls all things unto her calls me, and I must embark." - Kahlil Gibran.
"Bless not only the road but the bumps on the road. They are all part of the higher journey." - Julia Cameron.
"He who never leaves his country is full of prejudices." - Carlo Goldoni.
"The use of traveling is to regulate imagination by reality, and instead of thinking how things may be, to see them as they are." - Samuel Johnson.
It was this time last year that I was back in my hometown, Sunderland, for the first time in seven years. My "seven year itch" trip back to the Motherland and exploration of Europe was a trip that I'd been planning for over a year, and provided two months of fun, exploration and inspiration that only traveling can give you.
Myself and my friend Ashleigh planned a trip around Europe and Morocco together although we hadn't seen each other since I'd moved to Australia, and remained in contact via online chat, emails and phone calls. I suppose that in itself is impressive, and when I did get back to England it wasn't weird to see her.
I stumbled upon a notebook I'd taken with me on our "Suitcasing and Cultural Absorbing" trip of 2010, where Ashleigh had written down the funny situations and characters we met over our four week trip. From nearly giving away her brand new car to an elderly couple in Manchester (she posted the keys through the wrong letterbox), to being followed down a creepy Moroccan alleyway, to being serenaded by American teenagers on Independence Day in a Santorini restaurant that Green Day and Jennifer Aniston have dined in, we had an amazing time.
I loved Paris. I love its attitude, its cosmopolitan chic and Bourgeoisie culture clinging to the city's very walls and statues. I love the arrogance of the French, the prominent sex appeal and the romance; from couples literally drinking wine and eating bread beneath the Tour D'Eiffel to being pressed against a bistro wall on tiny two seat tables watching the world go by, while you inhale the smoke from the next table that seems sexy in France. I love the idea of eating croissant and writing poetry and being truly arty, wanky and deep - but it being entirely acceptable in Paris. Love fills the air in Paris in every way, from the padlocks on the gates overlooking the Seine to the couples canoodling everywhere. I love the optimism of Paris.
I also adored Rome, and being in a city built around its ruins and histories. The Italians have such a charming passion for food: nothing is more important than lunch (though maybe your Mama), and I could happily live on pasta every single day. I love how laid back yet chaotic Rome is. An afternoon can be devoured by a meal, as the Italians work their way through three or four dishes, but in the blink of a second the roads are crazy, the train stations are hectic and the espresso bars are full. Italians know they are sexy and proclaim it in every "Ciao Bella" they scream to every woman as she walks along the street.
Santorini is one of my most favourite places in the world. The most Southern Cyclade island of Greece, it's views of the sunset in Oia are phenomenal and compete with those of Fiji. The caldera is astonishing and every inch of the island is picturesque. The laid back island lifestyle accompanied with friendly Greeks and the always delicious meals doused in feta and olive oil is one I could happily spend more time in. We rested here as our last stop and spent five glorious days reading by the pool, walking along the calm streets of Oia and Thira and drinking Sangria as the sun set over this tiny island. I can imagine Santorini becomes a ghost town in winter, as the tourists go away for the season and the shops close down - the clusters of white buildings and empty pebbled streets would be haunting and old world like.
I loved being home, and returning to friends and family that hadn't changed. We've grown up, but we still get along and it was amazing that 12,000 miles, 7 years and little contact had carried our friendships regardless. I felt accepted and had an amazing time catching up with friends I'd known since I was in nursery school. We'd lived in Portugal for a few years when I was 9, and when I came back at 12 I was once again nestled back into the group of friends without any distance.
It was eerie walking through the neighbourhood's of my childhood and bar a minor detail here and there, not much had really changed. It was all how I'd had it pictured in my mind from when I'd left, when I'd cried for months wishing we hadn't moved away again. The first few months in Melbourne were our family's hardest; I was at an awkward age and moving to Australia was forever, while we always knew Portugal had an expiry date.
I suppose while I walked the streets of my hometown and caught the same buses I had when I was 13, I wondered if I'd have turned out different if I'd never moved away from home. Despite a few differences in interests and hobbies and the change in my accent I think I'd be the same girl regardless, and getting along with my friends so easily was the proof of that.
I finished my two month trip with a few days in London. I hadn't been to London since I was 13 and I was instantly hooked. I love every aspect of England's capital: the anonymity, the rush, the nonshalance. No one cares about you there - no one has time to. I find that oddly accepting. There is no judgment there; every unusual outfit, hairstyle or character becomes a brickwork in the appeal of London. I read an opinion on the city that went along the lines of: "you could be stark naked with fluro pink hair in the middle of a street and no one would bat an eyelid in the city that's seen it all already." I love the shops, the tube, the weather, the Britishness mixed with city cool, the hours I could happily spend wandering through the boroughs will all their different flavours, the shows, gigs and bars that are endlessly available. I want to move there, even if it's not forever. I want to be at least a temporary fixture of London, just another face amongst the ever evolving crowds. I want to lose myself in the big city to find out who I really am.
Simply put, I want to travel.
"Bless not only the road but the bumps on the road. They are all part of the higher journey." - Julia Cameron.
"He who never leaves his country is full of prejudices." - Carlo Goldoni.
"The use of traveling is to regulate imagination by reality, and instead of thinking how things may be, to see them as they are." - Samuel Johnson.
It was this time last year that I was back in my hometown, Sunderland, for the first time in seven years. My "seven year itch" trip back to the Motherland and exploration of Europe was a trip that I'd been planning for over a year, and provided two months of fun, exploration and inspiration that only traveling can give you.
Myself and my friend Ashleigh planned a trip around Europe and Morocco together although we hadn't seen each other since I'd moved to Australia, and remained in contact via online chat, emails and phone calls. I suppose that in itself is impressive, and when I did get back to England it wasn't weird to see her.
I stumbled upon a notebook I'd taken with me on our "Suitcasing and Cultural Absorbing" trip of 2010, where Ashleigh had written down the funny situations and characters we met over our four week trip. From nearly giving away her brand new car to an elderly couple in Manchester (she posted the keys through the wrong letterbox), to being followed down a creepy Moroccan alleyway, to being serenaded by American teenagers on Independence Day in a Santorini restaurant that Green Day and Jennifer Aniston have dined in, we had an amazing time.
I loved Paris. I love its attitude, its cosmopolitan chic and Bourgeoisie culture clinging to the city's very walls and statues. I love the arrogance of the French, the prominent sex appeal and the romance; from couples literally drinking wine and eating bread beneath the Tour D'Eiffel to being pressed against a bistro wall on tiny two seat tables watching the world go by, while you inhale the smoke from the next table that seems sexy in France. I love the idea of eating croissant and writing poetry and being truly arty, wanky and deep - but it being entirely acceptable in Paris. Love fills the air in Paris in every way, from the padlocks on the gates overlooking the Seine to the couples canoodling everywhere. I love the optimism of Paris.
I also adored Rome, and being in a city built around its ruins and histories. The Italians have such a charming passion for food: nothing is more important than lunch (though maybe your Mama), and I could happily live on pasta every single day. I love how laid back yet chaotic Rome is. An afternoon can be devoured by a meal, as the Italians work their way through three or four dishes, but in the blink of a second the roads are crazy, the train stations are hectic and the espresso bars are full. Italians know they are sexy and proclaim it in every "Ciao Bella" they scream to every woman as she walks along the street.
Santorini is one of my most favourite places in the world. The most Southern Cyclade island of Greece, it's views of the sunset in Oia are phenomenal and compete with those of Fiji. The caldera is astonishing and every inch of the island is picturesque. The laid back island lifestyle accompanied with friendly Greeks and the always delicious meals doused in feta and olive oil is one I could happily spend more time in. We rested here as our last stop and spent five glorious days reading by the pool, walking along the calm streets of Oia and Thira and drinking Sangria as the sun set over this tiny island. I can imagine Santorini becomes a ghost town in winter, as the tourists go away for the season and the shops close down - the clusters of white buildings and empty pebbled streets would be haunting and old world like.
I loved being home, and returning to friends and family that hadn't changed. We've grown up, but we still get along and it was amazing that 12,000 miles, 7 years and little contact had carried our friendships regardless. I felt accepted and had an amazing time catching up with friends I'd known since I was in nursery school. We'd lived in Portugal for a few years when I was 9, and when I came back at 12 I was once again nestled back into the group of friends without any distance.
It was eerie walking through the neighbourhood's of my childhood and bar a minor detail here and there, not much had really changed. It was all how I'd had it pictured in my mind from when I'd left, when I'd cried for months wishing we hadn't moved away again. The first few months in Melbourne were our family's hardest; I was at an awkward age and moving to Australia was forever, while we always knew Portugal had an expiry date.
I suppose while I walked the streets of my hometown and caught the same buses I had when I was 13, I wondered if I'd have turned out different if I'd never moved away from home. Despite a few differences in interests and hobbies and the change in my accent I think I'd be the same girl regardless, and getting along with my friends so easily was the proof of that.
I finished my two month trip with a few days in London. I hadn't been to London since I was 13 and I was instantly hooked. I love every aspect of England's capital: the anonymity, the rush, the nonshalance. No one cares about you there - no one has time to. I find that oddly accepting. There is no judgment there; every unusual outfit, hairstyle or character becomes a brickwork in the appeal of London. I read an opinion on the city that went along the lines of: "you could be stark naked with fluro pink hair in the middle of a street and no one would bat an eyelid in the city that's seen it all already." I love the shops, the tube, the weather, the Britishness mixed with city cool, the hours I could happily spend wandering through the boroughs will all their different flavours, the shows, gigs and bars that are endlessly available. I want to move there, even if it's not forever. I want to be at least a temporary fixture of London, just another face amongst the ever evolving crowds. I want to lose myself in the big city to find out who I really am.
Simply put, I want to travel.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Nolite Te Bastardes Carborundorum.
I've been trying to write some poetry, and while I have phrases sscribbled over loose sheets of paper while I've felt momentarily inspired I can't quite seem to piece together everything I want to say. When there are no words to describe how I'm feeling, I suppose I can only write and say what comes to mind at the time, and hope that the verses will naturally render themselves together along the way.
It's not as though I'm an emotional wreck; I think considering I'm doing really well. I also accept that what has happened to me is not the worst in the world, but it doesn't make it acceptable either. I'm learning that I can't be hurt by everyone who renders the events in a different light, and I can't be discouraged by life giving us detours to our grand plans and dreams.
I suppose the philosophy I'm living by is simple and effective, and one that many choose to live by: take each day as it comes. Life is built on a series of highs and lows, and dealing with the past month has been another trial for me.
I do believe talking about it with people I care about, writing here, and trying to put some words of clarity into my poetry are all helping me unravel how I feel. I am thankful that I am a strong person and have been able to be honest about this. I've been praised by my friends that I am brave, and I am proud of myself for facing the demons, and not letting them slip through the ropes of justice. I will not let another person be affected.
Yesterday was a bad day in a bittersweet way; I heard from someone with a really sweet message of support to me, and while it upset me it also made me feel uplifted and better about what's going on. There will be days when I want to cry and I'm afraid of what may happen, but anyone can feel like that without going through what I am. As time passes and things move on, I'm hoping this will eventually all fade away into a closed chapter of my story.
I'm enjoying my new job, and feel a sense of accomplishment every time I put some more money back into my savings, and am considering going back to uni for one more year. Whether my future leads me to London, or leads me to somewhere I've not even considered yet, I know I'll be going full of prospects and determination to live a successful and happy life. It is my right to dream big, and my attitude that will lead me there.
And for the bad days, and the many more I expect for all of us to come, we have to remember: Don't let the batards grind you down.
It's not as though I'm an emotional wreck; I think considering I'm doing really well. I also accept that what has happened to me is not the worst in the world, but it doesn't make it acceptable either. I'm learning that I can't be hurt by everyone who renders the events in a different light, and I can't be discouraged by life giving us detours to our grand plans and dreams.
I suppose the philosophy I'm living by is simple and effective, and one that many choose to live by: take each day as it comes. Life is built on a series of highs and lows, and dealing with the past month has been another trial for me.
I do believe talking about it with people I care about, writing here, and trying to put some words of clarity into my poetry are all helping me unravel how I feel. I am thankful that I am a strong person and have been able to be honest about this. I've been praised by my friends that I am brave, and I am proud of myself for facing the demons, and not letting them slip through the ropes of justice. I will not let another person be affected.
Yesterday was a bad day in a bittersweet way; I heard from someone with a really sweet message of support to me, and while it upset me it also made me feel uplifted and better about what's going on. There will be days when I want to cry and I'm afraid of what may happen, but anyone can feel like that without going through what I am. As time passes and things move on, I'm hoping this will eventually all fade away into a closed chapter of my story.
I'm enjoying my new job, and feel a sense of accomplishment every time I put some more money back into my savings, and am considering going back to uni for one more year. Whether my future leads me to London, or leads me to somewhere I've not even considered yet, I know I'll be going full of prospects and determination to live a successful and happy life. It is my right to dream big, and my attitude that will lead me there.
And for the bad days, and the many more I expect for all of us to come, we have to remember: Don't let the batards grind you down.
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