"All writing is revenge." - Nikki Gemmel.
When I was a little girl, if I ever had a argument with someone, my mum would always give me a cuddle and assure me it was because "they were jealous." While it was comforting to agree with her and after a good sleep all would be solved, I soon scoffed at this easy assurance. As I've grown up however, it seems the people I've had disagreements with in life have seemingly been jealous of me, even if they haven't admitted it.
Jealousy is often unexplainable and unwarranted. The jealousy I've often felt has not been able to be controlled; it's an unnerving feeling that always has a reason to be there; but it is poisonous. Those who are jealous will go to extreme lengths to try and either shake the feeling or fight it, and somehow lose logic along the way.
I've lost some people in my life that were never really worthy of my friendship. They were intimidating, spoiled and never deserved the kindness and compassion I showed them that they never quite returned. I do appreciate however that I left a lasting impression that resonates with them, when they feel the need to keep a part of me hanging around, while I've moved on from them.
I have an individual style and nature and it humours me when I see it replicated by people who won't admit they're jealous of me. My hairstyle, my writing, my pin-up fashion sense and my humour have been copied by a few people who I've disagreed with in the past.
Lovers jealousies are always the most passionate and become the most derived; people harbour desires from ex-lovers in their new lovers; and the new lovers are only too desperate to try and fill the previous person's shoes while hoping they can make it their own. They hope their replication of the original will help fade the past memories away.
It makes me laugh that I'm copied by those who claim to dislike me. It gives me faith in myself; in those who have cared for me, had feelings for me and been my friend. It shows I'm doing something right.
And if all writing is revenge, at least I'll always have an audience (and a fanbase) in my enemies... :)
