You've Got To Laugh

Or you’d cry?

Not necessarily.

“Men are bastards. After about ten minutes I wanted to cut off my own penis with a kitchen knife.” – Will, About a Boy.

There’s not much new to that, if you ask any woman (or in some cases, man), who’ll rapidly offer a story depicting woe and some wanker. Post break up and ready to drown my sorrows in true Bridget-esque style (though I wasn’t too bad), of course I had to run into someone from my past. He agreed: “men are bastards. That’s why I’m dating a girl.”

So after two to three months, my stint as a couple was practically over before it began. It ended amicably enough – we’re both planning to move to entirely different parts of the world and our lives and plans simply weren’t compatible. So, I’m now faced with the dilemmas of post break up behaviour. Friends? People who speak? Or someone that you have to avoid if you run into them in the shops, or at a pub?

Through chatting to my best friend and seeing more and more unbreakable couples break, I’m coming to the conclusion that perhaps it’s something to do with age, and relationship inexperience. My first serious boyfriend was three years of teenage angst and using me as the solution and cure to his depression. The next one was a train wreck in itself; but I did love him, and learnt a lot along the way. After feeling that gut wrenching heartbreak, we’re all at least once due for, I travelled, dated (some shockers too), and grew up.

So onto the next one I was more confident of what I wanted from him; or a boyfriend in general, but stuck on my single and fabulous! (exclamation point!) dreams of the future. He was lovely and we never fought but I feel back on track and more eager to jump right into my future than ever before.

We’ve long since realised the idealistic tale of meeting and being with your one and only is too good to be true, yet so many people aspire to it with each new partner, as though the past can be deleted and has no swaying on the person you are, and why somebody loves you.

Perhaps I’m sadistic and my optimistic trite is fading away, or perhaps when I’m loved up it’ll grow again; but age is often a problem too. We’re barely familiar with ourselves at this age, let alone how we are as a partner. Perhaps each boyfriend and breakup sets the standard for who we are, and what we need in the future.

But for some optimism; you can’t value love without pain, and you should feel the welt of each heartbreak with the new found joys of your future.

Spoken like a true masochist.