Finding My Way Back

Although we all have events in our lives that harbour fear, leave distaste and implant worry I've always been a firm believer that we can't let ourselves be defeated by anyone, or any bad experience we may have had to endure.

I feel like the past few months are on their way to being left behind in a chapter of my life I'll acknowledge but prefer not to re-read again. My friends have been amazing during this time. No judgment has been passed, and only love and support has been provided to ensure I'm comfortable and able to move forward with my life.

I've gone out (drinking) twice this week, and it was good to be safe and not feel threatened by any situation I was in. I've laughed, had lots of fun and have felt like I'm getting back to being my old self again.

I suppose one of my biggest fears is dealing with other people's perceptions of what I should or shouldn't be doing after this experience; though I can't live my life incessantly using a bad experience, particularly as it wasn't my fault, as a reference point for all future plans in my life. I am allowed to be carefree and have fun with my friends without the constant nagging that what I'm doing is wrong.

I've gotten into the rhythm of my workplace now and things are going well. I don't have any concrete plans for the immediate future but I'm working on preparing myself for what may or may not happen, and financially I'm getting back on track with some savings again. I still believe that down the track I want to leave this town; not for running away from my problems but rather taking on a life and surrounding I think is better suited to me.

I'm not from here, I never will be. While I've met amazing people, I don't think I should have to feel bad for not feeling like I'm entirely at home here. Even if it's a case of doing some more travel and finding myself lost in a city I've never been to, or roaming the streets of fantasy towns to find myself, I'm ready and waiting with my passports in hand.