"You'll Laugh When Something Is Really Funny."

Mowgli's Brothers

Now Chil the Kite brings home the night
That Mang the Bat sets free -
The herds are shut in byre and hut,
For loosed til dawn are we.
This is the hour of pride and power,
Talon and tush and claw.
Oh, hear the call! - Good hunting all
That keep the Jungle Law!

- Rudyard Kipling.


What this last week has taught me is that you can't ever be entirely certain of future plans, or even the present you're living within. I believe, or perhaps used to believe that everything happens for a reason, and life deals you events to test your character and strength. Thrown the most horrific, beyond awful of events to deal with, the ferocious fighter I've always been has questioned my ability to stand tall again.

This past week has also taught me that people are without a doubt the most important parts of our lives. My amazing family and friends have shown a love and support I couldn't have even dreamt of, and handled what most can't handle with sincerity and loyalty towards me. Flowers, phone calls, visiting and small gestures are all helping me feel better, or rather, feel anything at all. I am eternally thankful. You've even made me laugh, and with every smile I'm feeling myself creep back.

While I know this will take time, and maybe after some of my numbness wears away and it all sinks in, perhaps the worst is (hopefully not) to come, knowing I've had such help already is preparing me for this difficult and torturous battle ahead.

Life has thrown us all horrific times to see how we cope, and maybe I thought I'd already had my fair share of hardships. Perhaps with each hardship I've handled and not let destroy me, a worst one has been cast my way. But I promise that this will not define, nor defeat me.

I've read, I've listened to music, gone to a gig, visited friends, watched movies and desperately searched for a job. I hope it is all working its way to finding myself again.

So amongst the pain and the recovery, I find myself smothered in support and maybe, in moments where innocence floods its way in, I can lose myself to the enveloping electricity of a live band or the funny joke we're all laughing about.